Healing

I am recovering from gallbladder surgery.  They yanked it out on Wednesday morning, almost two hours later than scheduled, and I ain't been the same since! Seriously, this is supposed to be the most common surgery these days. Rip, Nip, Zip & it's out. Weeellllll.... I don't know who it was that told me, "oh you'll be yourself in a day or two." REALLY? Who was THIS person? I can't even remember, because apparently i have the mind of an eighty year old woman too. Maybe I really AM Maude? Regardless, nothing can be easy with me. I'm the one percent. You know, when they say "Only one percent of people who [insert any action] will end up with [insert reaction]"....That's me. The one percent. So the "one little incision" turned into four incisions, the worst of which starts about two inches above my already deformed belly button and goes to the middle of said deformity. This one hurts like a motherfucker everytime I move, breathe, think or exist. The percocet helps though. And speaking of which, I am breaking one of my major life's rules (hiccups hurt too, by the way: i'm speaking from concurrent "research" if you will )....Back to the rule. Do NOT take prescription  pain meds for pain!!! Double up the advil & save the good stuff for any particular rough emotional time in your life.  However, this is the exception.  Apparently, sometimes, you actually have to use the pain meds to dull the pain. Hopefully recovery will pick up tomorrow and i'll have something left over for the months to come.
In honor of the surgery, I will list the things that have helped me through the past 40 or so hours.
1.  The Golden Girls....Yes, I have made it this far with the help of the Golden Girls. (I really am 80)... While I sat in the freezing cold hospital, where i arrived early and went into surgery late, i had about three and a half hours to kill. I laid on the stretcher, in my "open in the back" gown, paper booties on my feet, squinting at the snowy reception on my private tv, watching the Golden Girls. I don't know why I love this show: i dont' know why it is soothing to me. But it is. And you know what? It's on now. If I make it through The Nanny on Nick at Night, from 11 to midnight, I turn the TV to the Golden Girls to help me goto sleep. (They're obviously not helping me sleep tonight, however.)
2.  My parents.  I am 36 years old. I live in their rental house next door. Most of the time, we stay out of each others' lives.  I rarely even make the trek across the yard unless there is some sort of edible bribe waiting.  But my parents, both of them, came to the hospital, sat there with me in that little makeshift pre-op room and subsequently were waiting in my room when they wheeled me in from recovery.   My daddy stayed until i was safely back in the room then left to take care of my kids. My mom stayed until i was released late last night. She went to the grocery store and got me gatorade, jello pudding, jello jello, soup, boullion and soda crackers. Oh, and percocet! This morning my dad made homemade tomato soup and tonight my mom made homemade potato soup. Being here, in this house, is just like old times. I've spent more time with them in the past few days than the whole month before combined. I've got to do a better job.
3.  My friends. I know i've said it a trillion times, but my friends are the best!  I've been showered with phone calls, texts, emails and facebook posts, all with get well wishes. My BFF even got me an amazon gift card, which has helped pass at least an hour and a half today! Why is it when you have no money, you can pick out a hundred things you want. But when you HAVE money, a giftcard in particular, you can not pin point any single thing that is truly worth you spending your card on? MTV acoustic cd? I've wanted that for a while. But if I get it, then I use the card & then it's gone?!?! I realize this is the purpose of the card, but for some reason, i like the security of it sitting there, just waiting for the PERFECT PURCHASE. So I'ma hold onto it for something great!

The funny thing is....I've barely thought about the divorce.  The thought of Jackweed in particular, has not crossed my mind but maybe once or twice, when I remember he has a "girlfriend".  And the sting of that has worn off quickly.  Even seeing his post on one of my friend's pages this morning didn't even make my heart jump. My finger jumped, however, right on over to the "delete" button.  Any friend of his is no friend of mine. Sorry, folks, that's just how it has to be.

Well....it's late. And thanks to the two pain pills, i've rambled on enough. I could go on, I'm sure, about how my kids have not been the best during this, how they're teenagers and driving me crazy. Or about my babies' daddy who has bypassed his previous record level of jackassery and is apparently going for some sort of world record. But these things bring me down. And the purpose of this blog is to remember and be thankful for the good things. And end on a good note. So let's think of daisies, and gift cards, and the Basket of Goodies my boss drove all the way to my house this evening. The cookies and muffins and breads, most of which i don't eat but my daddy will love....let's think of how New York at Thxgiving is only two months away. And how perfect this fall, thanksgiving and Christmas is going to be, even without 'his' money. All of those things, too, should be on my list of things getting me through. Because sometimes the "now" is easier, because you know that in the future, that "now" won't be a regret. That's the biggest motivation of all!