Old Land Sign......

Should old acquaintance be forgot,

and never brought to mind ?

Should old acquaintance be forgot,

and old lang syne ?

CHORUS:

For auld lang syne, my dear, for auld lang syne, we'll take a cup of kindness yet, for auld lang syne.

Wikipedia says: "To days(or times) gone by" may be modern-day expressions, in common use as toasts, that capture the spirit of "for auld lang syne". Although the song begins with a question whether old times should be forgotten, the song is generally interpreted as a call to remember long standing friendships.

I have lots of friends. Wait. I have lots of acquaintances. I have a good many friends. I have several true friends. I have one "call her if you found a dead hooker in your room" friend.  This friend and I were just discussing the other day the Jim Carey movie where he erases a woman from his memory, and we wondered....Is there anyone who would erase us?  On the surface, there are plenty of people i would erase. However, I believe we decided the catch here is that if you erase a person, you erase all memories that person was ever in any way attached to, even memories you merely told that person. Well that changes the whole ballgame. Just like everything else in life, there's a catch. So ultimately we decided we would not erase anyone for fear of repercussions and alterations to time and place and present.  But if there were no repercussions.....

This song has two significances in my life.  The first one is the Dan Folgeberg song "Same old lang syne".  I remember this song growing up and always kind of liked it.  Aforementioned best friend took it upon herself last year or maybe the year before to "dissect" this song and analyze it in her Christmas Song/Meaning blog, much to the dismay of a couple of die-hard D. F. lovers who read her blog.  That blog is one of my favorites of all time and in spite of it, I still love this song: it is "supposed" to be a Christmas Song, and i associate it with Christmas, but in all honesty, she and I put it on our "Top Ten Xmas Songs That Shouldn't Be Xmas Songs". (Possible Blog to Follow). 

The second signifcance of this song is in the movie Sex in the City.  If you've never heard that version, you must at least once.  It's somewhat Celticky (not really a word, i suppose) and perhaps out of the context of the movie it may not appeal even to me, but at that point in the movie, I could identify with the song, the movie, and life.  Miranda has said goodbye to her son as he leaves with his father (from whom she is separated because men are innately incapable of monogamy) and she is left to stand against the door in her apartment alone, on New Years Eve, looking at the Christmas tree.  She calls Carrie who, depressed and inwardly mourning the loss of Mr. Big and the life he was supposed to give her, has gone to bed early.  Carrie offers to come over, seemingly out of obligation and Miranda declines. They hang up and vow to talk the next day.  Moments later, clad in the most ridiculous get up even for Carrie Bradshaw, Carrie is trekking through the city, making her way to Miranda to share the midnight hour (cue the song). Miranda opens the door and Carrie has made it just in time.  This symbolizes so much in my life, especially right now.

This will be my first Christmas since the divorce, and let me qualify this with the fact that this will be the best Christmas ever, especially without STBX.  Yeah, money is tight. Yeah, I've had to figure out how to even get a couple of presents for each kid and yeah, my checking account is overdrawn for a THIRD time in a month. But I have my kids (frustrating as they can be), I have my family (overbearing as they can be) and I have my friends. My friends are the best. And that's where Miranda and Carrie come in.  My best friend has been going through as tough a time as me, if not worse, the past year herself. And still she has stood by me, encouraged me, and even told me to shut the fuck up a time or two.  She is my conscience and she is my rock. I know that sounds cliche, but there is no other way to describe it.  She is the best friend. Ever.  Another friend has been with me, every possible weekend, from the moment i moved into my new house, keeping my mind occupied, drinking coffee, swimming in my parents' pool and becoming a  huge part of my life. She is so annoying sometimes, but she has been a huge part of my recovery and i could never thank her enough.  Yet another friend, another rock, has helped me financially on more than one occasion, and she is as broke as me.  I'm pretty sure I owe her HUNDREDS if not more.  But she has listened to me whine, fuss and cry. She bought me a margarita the night I found out my STBX actually wanted a divorce.  It seemed so painful that night, but she got me liquored up and drove me around listening to straight up gangsta rap.  Don't knock it. It may be the reason I didn't die of heartbreak.

All of that being said, 2010 is going to be my year. It is going to be a year of accomplishment in knowing that at the end of this blog, on June 3, 2010, I made it with minimal scars and minimal heartache. It's going to be the year of slowing down, smelling daisies (cause i don't like roses) and soul searching. I'm going to live my life and love my friends and family and most importantly, myself. Because if I don't love me, how can I expect anyone else to?